MAYBE THIS COULD BE
BASTILLE DAY, OR POSSIBLY IT WILL BE SOON
Now what the hell do I do?
I wonder where Tim is. Is he
attempting to jump onto the subway tracks again??? I certainly hope not.
If he is, somebody will just have to take him straight back
to Hell on Earth, maybe the only one thing that could save his life. Unfortunately, to learn to live with our
depression, we have to go to mental hospitals where we have to fight an
environment that feels ten times worse than our depression in the first
place. Never have I ever seen a “hospital”
to be a healing place. The word is a
misnomer; from what I’ve seen all hospitals have gone from bad to unspeakably
bad. We hear aides saying things to each
other that make us wonder all over again if we are in fact in reality.
Maybe if he went back to Hell on Earth, I’d have a chance of
finding him. But no, it would be
impossible because of those confidentiality rules. These rules do not protect the patient (for
which alleged reason they were instituted), but they protect the system
instead, because these rules make it near-impossible to ever find out where
someone dear to you might be. ***********************
Note: I can
work beautifully with Word 2003, but I barely get 2007. When 2010 came out, I cried and cried. Why all these little pictures called
“icons”? Whatever happened to
words? When I saw the square thing that
stands for “smile,” I thought it was a slice of Sicilian pizza. ***********************
We are already under a Communist rulership. Capitalism =
Communism now, and Left = Right. This is
not funny at all. In China, Pakistan,
Iran, I don’t know where else, they lock up and torture anyone who tries to go
against the prevailing system, or religious people who aren’t even trying to do
that at all. The Chinese already own at
least one-third, possibly two-thirds, of New York City’s real estate. Is this fair to New Yorkers, Americans? No!
The Chinese, those who professed to be doctors (I looked
this up) were expected some years ago to go testing with very strict
requirements before they would be allowed to practice medicine here in the US. Now what do these Chinese doctors know? Nothing at all, especially the psychiatrists! They can hardly read English. One of them, who doubled as a food worker,
proclaimed that the brain is made of Jello.
Ask him what a nerve cell is. He
is made of Jello himself. (He should
stick to serving Jello.) They look up
the symptoms, put a label on it, prescribe drugs if they can’t even pronounce
the names, stare blankly at individuals, not even knowing that they are people,
just “cases” with a label, because they are not real people themselves at all. If you ask them to extend an order for ativan
beyond the original amount, they say, “We can’t!”
The Chinese all look alike; they must be aliens, Koreans
too, nasty and inhuman. Perhaps they are
from Mars, seeking an identity, counting on ruling this planet, even going so
low as to poison our water, air, vegetables, medicines, pet food….they cause
old women taking up space in their apartments to die slowly on the
elevator. They imprison religious groups
in concentration camps where they harvest live organs. They cut off hands, legs and feet, grind up
and sell human meat in to Europe in cans.
They kill girl babies after they are born. Who will be left to give birth to their
precious boy babies then??
Are we going to be a nation ruled by Chinese? Dostoyevsky was locked away in Siberia for
10 cold, cold years. The communists sent
him there. If the hospital nazis sent
Tim to Siberia, I hope he takes along a copy of Crime & Punishment. It’s a good book.
Now what the hell do you want from me? Do you want to keep on dragging me out of my
home, which is unconstitutional, of course none of you ever studied the
Constitution either, did you – or are you ever going to stop locking me up?....a
crippled old lady cannot stamp her cane on the floor without being suspect of
violence. It takes four big people to
pry off an old crippled woman’s clothes because she preferred not to wear a
hospital gown.
*********************************************
I really think the police and hospital workers I have seen
here so far belong in Alcatraz. They
might as well go there now.
They need some kind of education in ethics and human
interactions. We have had too many Abner
Louimas and other morbid stuff. A good
book for them all to read is Verbal Judo. Much of it was written, in fact, for
cops. But it’s a good book for anybody
to read, nothing violent about it. Have
most of these cops, even the psychiatrists they dredge up from the swamp, ever
read even one blessed book in their adult life?
(maybe Robinson Crusoe in their childhood school days, which is as far
as some of them got, except for the GED)
How about that electronic kindle?
That started about 10 years ago. Where’s
the space to write in the margins? Think
how long people didn’t even have a regular old telephone, and I still don’t
understand how that worked, wires and all.
Telephone poles were always part of the scenery.
I’m a writer. I’m a
reader. People like me have a lot of
trouble with technology. Don’t ask me to
understand how anything electronic works; I just couldn’t dig it at all.
So now what do I do about Tim? If I call his home number, I’ll probably hear
no kind of answer, or a lot of Spanish.
If he were back at some hospital, then it would be next-to-impossible to
contact him, because of confidentiality laws.
*********************************
I can’t find the phone number for my social worker. I’m sure she could help me, if she could avoid
bringing police or psychiatrists here, which could probably cause me a heart
attack right now. Then it would all be
over, and a hospital wouldn’t do me any good at all. The only difficulty left would be for my
friends to decide the cheapest way of disposing of my body.
I am tempted to call Tim’s mother (although the last woman
who answered the phone there was not his mother), but that wouldn’t help much
either, would it? Maybe he is still at
the rehab they said he would be consigned to for 9 months. Wouldn’t 6 months have been enough? Perhaps he has run away from there. Or they didn’t know what to do with him and
let him go. I need him now.
*****************************
