Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Dialogue between me and my little extra fat (EF)

Dec. 22, 2016

Me - I hate you.
EF - You don't hate me.  you love me.  You hate to see me go.  I am your excuse for hating yourself.
Me - I can hate myself perfectly well without you, thanks.
EF - But I make you feel better.
Me - No, you don't!  I hate you!
EF - You love me. 
Me - That's ridiculous.  Why should I love you?
EF - Because when you get skinny, you start to feel like a child, insecure, open to abuse and self-doubt, easily violated, vulnerable.
Me - I can get over those feelings without you.
EF - Then do it.  I will go away if I'm not helping you anymore.  I'll find somebody else to prey on.
Me - Then goodbye.  I am saying goodbye to you, Extra Fat.  I renounce you, EF.  I am changing my diet habits to lose you.
EF - I will not miss you at all.  There are so many others to prey on, who need my reassurance more than you do.
Me - Then goodbye, EF.  I am not worried about you anymore.  you can go where you like.  I will enjoy watching you slip off.
EF - Sniff, I'll miss you.
Me - Like a tiger misses a mouse it has eaten.  What do you know of emotions?  All you know is lard.  I renounce you, lard.  you are ugly, and i don't want you to be part of me.  I stand apart from you, EF, and recognize who I am.

***

Dec. 27, 2016

Me - Extra Fat, I really want to lose you.  But I don't care too much either way anymore.
EF - Really?
Me - No, I'm lying.  I do care.  I want you gone.
EF - But it's hard to lose me, isn't it?
Me - Yes, but I feel alright with or without you, I really do.
EF - Then I can't help you at all.  I thought you needed me.
Me - No, I don't need you at all.  I can diet you away.
EF - I wish you wouldn't.  I've grown attached to you.
Me - Then detach yourself!  Go away!!
EF - It's easier said than done.
Me - Alright, but I'll do it anyway.  Begone, EF, begone!
EF - I think I'll take a little nap now....
Me - Sleep tight, EF.  Don't come back.


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