Notes to Self & 2 Poems

Notes to Self

My friend said,
"Don't write to the dead."
There is some advice
you can follow,
but not always.
You and they do not
always know your path,
which you must follow,
or destiny
(or the universe)
becomes confused.
You must
put things in writing
to clear your head.
The Buddha said,
"You must empty the cup
before you can pour
knowledge in."
You cannot value enough
knowledge and discretion.
Make a decision,
a conscious decision,
and be content with it.
Do not try to teach
a pig.

7/3/17/  rc



I Remember Dreaming

background of blue,
a baby-pink softness
ethereal clouds
streaked with auburn,

and a great crimson rising,
like a crab from her
bungalow of mud.

7/2/17  rc


You can't preserve the Moment,
but you can have it.


If you want to hold it
you can't keep it.
You will lose it.

Life and art are fleeting things,
like the air, going in and out,
out and in.

Music the greatest Art,
becomes air.
We breathe it
in,
we breathe it
out.
It is never lost.


7/3/17  rc

Past few days

Sing to Despair

We sing to
the despair
of the air

dip the pen,
start again

there's more passion
in your sadness
than I find
in a roomful
of gladness;

Hearts and flowers
may do
for hours, or even days -
but it's the angst
we remember,
so my dear and fair,
sing to the
despair of the air.

rc

Some new writings

The Miser

His own wealth
will be his undoing.

His house will crumble,
his wife grow cold.

For him nothing learned
in growing old.

Too much chocolate
palls the savor;

Money too
loses its flavor.

rc
5/28/17


Poets, male vs. female

I think that the poetic voices of men are distinctive and different, but the writings of women poets can be rolled into one.  Do not misinterpret this to mean that I think it is in any way inferior or less various.  But women seem to have, even in the most isolated circumstances, a Great Binding Sisterhood.

rc
6/1/17


Crying at weddings and funerals

Some of us, that is, many more than you might think, have an aversion to weddings and funerals because we are crying most of the time already.  There is no need to slot "crying" into our schedule.

It is mostly the bride who cries during and for many years after the wedding.  And a child who has lost or had absent family relationships will cry for all her life.

rc
6/1/17

Today is a new day

I don't care about a little belly.  Actually the less I care about it, the more it shrinks.
I must be manic-depressive.  The lows are terrible, the highs are great, is there anything that can cure this?
Lithium made me incontinent once.
The thing about painted fingernails is that I can't paint.  I can't messs up the nails.  So I have to do something else.  Having been addicted to painting for many months now, it was very difficult and frustrating to try to think of something else to do that would be equally satisfying.  I turn back to editing my poetry, and I turn to Dorothy Parker lately for inspiration.

Losing Weight and how my day went yesterday

This is an obsession with many of us women.  It feels like I lost a few lbs., and this makes me very happy.  I once heard someone say that the thing many women love the most is when they lose weight.  I have seen people who are enormous and wonder how or why they do that to themselves and oddly, how they sometimes find a lover who digs cooking food for them and watching them gorge themselves.  This to me is very weird.

So if I ever thought I was weird, how about that?

Moving on...I just went and had my nails done yesterday, which was a major achievement in several ways.  1. It's unusual for me to have enough money to do this, especially at the end of the month!  2. I walked up and back, I don't know how many blocks, instead of taking the bus.  3. I did this in the afternoon after having had no sleep the night before.  I did nod out briefly whenever I sat down, but that was it.

I woke up feeling very crabby and out of it today.  After a couple of hours I found I was better than ever and glad to be alive.  Meanwhile my nails look pretty.

I need a secretary

Today more than ever I am worried about having gained some weight.  Not a lot, but enough to make me upset.  Upset totally out of proportion with the problem.  I'm in good health, considering.  Home life is ok.  Just really upset about the weight.  I want to lose a minimum of 10 lbs. as soon as possible.  Ordered some health supplements, hope they help.

Someone who used to be my closest friend is fading out of my life.  That is, the colors are fading.  From brilliant sky blue to yucky grey.  I don't have anything else to say about that.  It doesn't merit my thought or my time.

I'm in conflict about sharing a lot of my poetry online.  Working on a book, would like to keep most of it to myself these days.  Will the book ever be finished?  As long as I'm alive, probably not.  Picasso said, "A painting is never finished, you just get interrupted."  I kinda hope that one of these days I'll find a reason for an interruption, or at least a point where I can distinguish what I've done from what I am still doing, and stop and put together what I have so far.  I used to be a secretary.  I need a secretary.

TODAY

TODAY

It is real.
There are facts,
like math;
It is not founded
on gibberish, this universe.

4/7/17

rc