New poems

I really don't know how good any of this stuff is, but I guess maybe it's interesting....

Rhine Wine

Golden sup,
fill my cup

Let me glide
into a deep cave
of nothingness

Obliterate me,
sedate me

Turn my sorrows
into the forgotten past

Mesmerize me

Pour down your waterfall
of surcease

Scotch burns my throat,
wine goes down easier

Plunge me into that curious void,
where there is nothing to know,
and nothing to avoid

======

The Forgetting

I thrust pictures past
away like old bread -
who needs mold?

Reminiscences only
hurt the heart

The purse may be full,
but what if the heart is still?

I cling to the Heart of Now,
the Holy Heart

thrusting pictures past
away like old bread -

++++++++

The Tryst

Our romance was lucky
it brought us both to life -

But I would not have lived with you,
or would ever have been your wife -
I wanted to -

Sometimes you meet a stranger
who tickles your buttons,
but you are already married,
so you smile and chew your gum.

______

1/29/17

The state of affairs

Writing about Mom, thinking about Mom, met her in my sleep last night - no, not a dream.  A conversation.  Don't know whether to post my diaries but then who will ever read it?  Who else has this problem?  Ever read a book called "A New diary"?  excellent book.  why don't we want to share?  Doesn't everybody have the same problems really?  It's called "being human." 
What else is new?  Getting more comfortable with writing on the computer, though I still like the hand-head-heart connection.  Recent conclusion:  a la Freud -- we are more influenced by our emotions than by rational thinking.  Example:  I need to have another hip operation but I'm scared ____less, so my heart tells me why bother?  I have had enough of hospitals.  When the pain becomes so bad I can't walk, I may consider it again.  Honestly, hospitals are the pits.  People staring at computers, they call themselves nurses and doctors, even psychiatrists do it.  What has happened to humanity?????
NOW LOOK AT THIS!

https://secure.food4patriots.com/video/index.php?CID=30&AFID=1095&click_id=1023c8bfad9feb5f0d8a52b9ef19a6&offer_id=30&aff_sub=1274-800x600-f4p300reg0435n&aff_sub2=is8x461s_685_49780118&aff_sub4=ads__08febbab-98e1-4bf6-bbf4-8be00a977b30&aff_sub5=

  OMG! LOOK what else is happening to our people and our government!  This video was banned.  Copy and paste it into your browser right now.  Look at this, you will not believe it.  Oh, a dictatorship has already taken hold.  We are in for trouble!  Send this on FB!  Read it yourself!

New poem

The Shadow

Narcissistic bat

of synthetic black

rubbery wings

flying high over a pond –

drinking the scent

of contented ducks below –

such misery of blind bats

enjoys not the simple

happiness of ducks.

On the ground,

a group of sparrows

chattering

in a small pond

made by rain in a hole

in the dirt –

bat listens and waits for death –

the Earth will not comply.

 

1/11/17

conversation

The Difference Between Diet Pepsi & Diet Coke*

H – he

S – she

 S-   If you're going out, could you get me some cigarettes?

H -   Yeah, I’m thinkin’ about goin’ out now.  I wanna buy a bottle of Diet Coke.

S -   Ok, but why?  I saw a whole bottle in there already.

H -   Oh, when was that?

S -   Oh, I don’t know,  yesterday or this morning maybe.

H -   No, that was only Diet Pepsi.

S -   So why do you also need Diet Coke?

H -   I already finished the Diet Pepsi.

S -   You’re kidding!  In only one day?

10 minutes later.....

H -   I had to get Diet Pepsi.  Not the one you like, regular Diet Coke.

S   -  Oh?

H -   But I also bought Decaffeinated Diet Coke.

S -   Oh?

……..(1 minute pause)…..

S -   So did you get me the cigarettes?

H -   What?!  You didn't tell me you wanted cigarettes.

S -   (Sigh.) 

*****************

*[true story!  sometime in the early 2000's]

[That was a long time ago when we could still buy cigarettes.  Now we roll our own tobacco.]

Continuing dialogue between me and EF

Me:  Hello again.
EF:  Hello.
Me:  I don't see so much of you since yesterday.  It's not just the little belly is a little smaller.  My legs are thinner.
EF:  Yeah.
Me:  I think you may be starting to get the point.
EF:  It's not me, it's you.
Me:  But will it last?
EF:  I don't know.  I'll be around if you want me.
Me:  Ok - But wait, this is too easy.  After those peanut butter cookies you had me baking for Christmas, why is it now I see you might be going away?
EF:  I think you might be getting it.
Me:  Me?  I thought you were the one who was moving away, or suddenly seems to be.
EF:  Sometimes you can't tell.  But I'm here if you miss me.
Me:  You said that already.

***********

Dialogue between me and LBF

Me - Well, here we are again, stupid Little Belly Fat.  you know what?  I don't care anymore.  Let this be our last conversation for now.  So you're back.  Who cares.
LBF - chuckle.
Me - I'm not listening.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

poem to PTSD and continuing dialogue with EF (LBF)

PTSD:
Pie in Your Face


Pie face
kick you in the
shoelace
this is my
place

don't get in
my space
shoelace
sponge face

erase
memories
freeze
thoughts

*****


Dec. 29

Me - Extra Fat (EF), are you still here?
EF - I'm shrinking....What are you doing to me?  I thought we were friends forever.
Me - No, not forever, Little Belly Fat (LBF).
LBF - What are you doing to me?
Me - I've thought of ways to lose you, while still eating.  I've got to keep eating.
LBF - Yes, that's the idea!  Keep eating!
me - Oh no, but not the way you think.  I have new ways of eating now.
LBF - Don't tell me.
Me - I'm going to write some down for myself to review.
1.  I can eat a peanut butter sandwich without jelly - or a jelly sandwich without peanut butter.  The idea is to overall eat less.
2.  I can enjoy a piece of bread or a roll all by itself without butter or margarine or cheese.
3.  One 50-cent bag of potato chips is only 200 calories (compare that with a handful of cookies) and so satisfying.  It's ok for a snack.
4.  Eat a banana:  protein, potassium, natural sugar.
5.  Coffee black, never any white sugar; brown sugar if necessary.
6.  Farina is good for breakfast, but don't put too much margarine and sugar in it.
7.  I don't like artificial sweeteners except in occasional diet sodas:  no nutritional value, can't be digested by liver, bladder and kidneys.
8.  Smaller meals overall, and leave a little behind on the plate.
9.  Never ice cream, cake or cookies.
LBF - Excuse me.
Me - you may take a break now.  Isn't this fun?
LBF - No.